Work is going good... better than I could expect. I get to go to a conference over the weekend!
Hope all is well with you all!
Mila
You can keep up with his reflections on the Trans Episcopal blog: http://www.transepiscopal.blogspot.com/
If you feel called, please keep him and the other panelists in your prayers, especially Friday morning (UK time). Also keep a thought for Bishop Gene Robinson, whose exclusion from meeting with his brother and sister bishops, because he is an out gay married man, is contrary to all traditions of this conference. There are many on the fringe this year - but especially because of +Gene's witness, so much more attention is being given to the margins...where Christ is always present.
I read an interesting study about "social norms". And the gist of it was that, among any given social group there is a tendency for the group to perceive that the group behaves in a certain way, and this is not typically consistent with how the group ACTUALLY behaves. And that if the group were to be led by the real norms, they might be less inclined to behave outside the established norms.
I think i got that right.
So for instance, girls might not have pre marital sex if they knew that was the prevalent behavior , and NOT like they observe on countless episodes of "Sex in the City". Or underage college guys might not drink to excess just because thats what they expected they ought to be doing this weekend.
Im not sure i buy all this but what might be the implications for us?
Well, there is arguably a perception that we are all out running around in abundance. freely shopping, using the ladies restrooms in public, trying clothes on at Nordstroms and having wild sex nightly with tranny chasing men...when in fact we remain almost universally behind closed doors (other than the odd "Pride" weekend or, heaven forbid, tgirl bar.
I think i can attest to the fact that we are NOT all running around in society in abundance. I can safely say that in my many years on this planet, I have "coincidentally" seen a crossdressed person in public maybe twice.
Compare that to the "perception" I might derive from my involvement with this social group. I would perceive that i would find crossdressers hanging in the supermarkets, at the local taverns, in the car lots, at the movie theatres, and petstores, at the cleaners and in the line at the license office.
It is simply not that prevalent. In fact, it is a rare occasion indeed, and I really think i would be someone who would be easily spotting the odd man in a dress. Im just that tuned into it. And lets face it, we really just dont pass all that well.
Is there a moral to this story? Only that we may feel "pushed" by peer pressure to get out there in all our finery because if we are not we are simply not keeping up with the times. And instead, we should recognize that we WILL be perceived as the odd one out, and be prepared to withstand what society chooses to throw our way in the process.
Im not sure any of this changes my personal choice to proceed as Demi in more public settings. But it does make me realize I am more the trendsetter than i might otherwise give myself credit for.
( SURE YA DO! )
- Mood:
amused
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arcstone posted an article which led me to pursue the subject, and in the process I found this little gem out there.http://www.peachpundit.com/2008/07/22/h
Wow. It's impressive just how some folks think and speak when the anonymity of the internet protects them. I've pasted my reply below, and no, you don't get a cut. I am offended, therefore I rant.
It's interesting to me to read the reactions here.
My first thought was the title of the article. "He/She/It". Somehow we change our gender, and to some it's suddenly okay to refer to us no longer as human beings, but with the same pronoun one might use for an end table. Dehumanizing... nice touch there.
Yes, folks, you are well within your rights to view us however you like. We exist among you, we share your rest rooms and restaurants, we work jobs and pay our taxes and actually, we don't request any special treatment. Except basic human rights. For some that doesn't seem so hard to grant. For others, it seems entirely too much to give.
Yes, we do ask that you refer to us as the gender we present to the world. We do have to live for a year before undergoing genital surgery, but really, how would you know if we've had it done or not? An amazon with big hands and a baritone voice may well have a flawless man-made vagina and you'd still have the same prejudice. It may not always be a flawless presentation, but again, we're just asking for a little manners. If you feel so strongly opposed to how we live our lives that you just have to be insulting, that's your choice. And how we react to your rude insensitivity is our choice. I've called more than one lady "Mister: and "Sir" because they were so determined to call me the same, and they seem to like it about as much as I do.
Yes, it is something outside the norm, and yes, most folks do think it's bizarre. And the pointing fingers and whispers and laughter that tends to follow in our wake (not to our faces, oh no, just behind us, where it's 'safe', or on the internet where a similar anonymity is present) is the price that we pay for our choices. This is our dysfunction (as defined by mental health professionals). This is how we deal with it. This is what makes us comfortable in our own skins, and we work hard to try to blend in with the rest of the sea of humanity so as not to stand out. After all, choosing to spend your life being a walking talking object of ridicule and social discomfort to others isn't really our priority most of the time. We just want inner peace and to live our lives as the gender we've always considered correct for ourselves.
Now someone is standing up and asking for equal rights because she was fired for changing her gender. Not for strolling in one day in a skirt and demanding to be called something new, but for attempting to work with the HR department of her office and make a smooth transition to continue doing the job she was already deemed quite capable of before she transitioned from he to she. And rather than look at the issues of rights, instead there just seems to be an awful lot of condemnation of the fact that society allows this, and that you are forced to accept it (though I do hear those voices of reason in the crowd, and thank you for that).
So flame me if you like, judge me if it makes you happy, call me a freak and rail against a society that demands that you accept us. That's the same mantra that the opponents of civil rights used fifty years ago. But hey, you're better than that, right? And it's not like we're real people or anything. We gave up the right to be considered human beings when we transitioned and became something other than what God made us, right?
Or maybe God made us this way on purpose. I dunno... He doesn't speak directly to me and reveal such plans. Maybe some of you have a better connection with Him than we do.
The longer I spend dealing with bullshit like this, the more it motivates me to find a way to change society.
- Mood:
annoyed
I must admit, when they said they were going to build a treehouse, I imagined something a little more substantial. After all, someone bid thousands of dollars at our Gala to be the first people to "spend the night" in the new treehouse. I'm not sure I'd want to be that exposed after dark on grounds, especially with the javelina still on the loose...
Last night I read Nikki Dream's blog. See:
http://nikkidreams.com/2008/07/21/all-t
or her web site:
http://nikkidreams.com/
On them Nikki has written a poem. But not just any old poem or girlish doggerel, but a heart felt 'scream' from deep within her heart of the final implosion of her relationship with her Significant Other (SO). Before I just 'nicked the poem for this blog I contacted Nikki to see if I could use it as to me the pain in what had just happened in her life flowed off the screen and mixed with all my own anguish. Indeed The poem is so strong I had to check that Nikki had actually written it herself!
This is what Niki said about writing the poem:
"Hi. Yes it is my poem. I wrote it last night immediately after my soon to be x left. She was over all day packing her stuff to move to a storage unit. I was crying my ass off writing it. Took me a couple hours to get over the days activities."
In my life I have hardly been the great 'Latin Lover' or even an 'English Eros'. Indeed I can probably say I only ever have had two 'proper' girlfriends (one I married and was with for 13 years, the other I've been with for 8 years), and both of them have all but destroyed me. The first probably due to her taking advantage of my inbuilt femininity, the second when I revealed that I had to pursue my dream of womanhood or die!
Why can they not realise how deep our longing for femininity and womanhood is? Why do we hurt so deeply at being abandoned by our SO? Will the pain ever really lesson, or is it true that that which doesn't destroy you makes you stronger?
For me and for Nikki and for so many of us this really will have been a good year for the roses! Please read the poem and see if you feel the hurt!
I'll take a better picture in the sunlight when I have a chance -- maybe this weekend.
Not only did I get my name changed on social security today, but I got my gender changed to "F" as well.
I am now officially recognized by the national government as a female and nothing else!!!!! Absolutely.
Most people have no idea what it takes to get gender changed, but let me say that I lucked out a little bit. That's all I'll say. Either way, this is going to make my life sooooo much easier.
"Transition" was over awhile ago, but this really solidifies it. Now I just will get my credit cards, insurance, car registration, etc. changed over... and then I'm done.
It's so weird to think that as of today at around 1 o'clock, it became illegal for me to marry a woman in a majority of the United States.
I've been off of the 'net for about a week -- My wife and I took a vacation; we drove (yes -- drove) from North Texas to South Carolina to visit my favorite aunt and my cousin. My cousin, who is lesbian and has a charming partner, put us up for the two nights we were there.
Interesting thing happened. The morning after we arrived I was sitting outside with my wife and my cousin. I was in guy mode but wearing shorts. My cousin noticed that there was no hair on my legs and commented, wondering if it was due to a family trait for this on that side of my family. After a brief pause, I explained by telling her that I shave my legs, and that I am "gender versatile."
I had not planned on coming out to her but had mentally prepared myself for this possibility. As I had hoped, she thought it was just the coolest thing. She couldn't wait to tell her partner -- and my aunt.
This latter part, I hadn't planned on but as it turned out I had no cause for worry. I went back into the bathroom and put on a quick face, dressed, and returned as one of my femme selves. By this time, my aunt had arrived. She is suffering from a degenerative disease of the nervous system and has lost her power of speech -- but the look of glee on her face spoke volumes. She produced a writing pad and pen and wrote, "You look so happy!" She wrote further that I looked better than my late mother had -- "Your mother never took pride in her appearance the way you do."
If I experience even a fraction of this level of acceptance and understanding from the rest of my family I'll consider myself very fortunate.
Time will tell.
- Location:North of Ordinary, TX
- Mood: happy
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thelifelist A forum for exchanging lists of things you'd like to have done before you die.
mourning_souls A community for cemetery photographers, dark poets and anyone else who appreciates and admires the beauty of cemeteries.
sorry i crushed your fingers while you were holding my hand during the procedure Sabrina. i'm sure the elephant-man hand deformity will go away pretty soon.
- Mood: cheerful
For the record, I do read the "art" arguments as a rationale for having pics taken that are more explicit, and I DO accept that argument (and ive seen some incredibly artistic examples)...but I am totally incapable of executing "art" of this type myself. I am not a professional photographer and do not have access to one. And please, this is not a veiled attempt to solicit one.
I would love to do a Jamie Austin layout some day, I know his stuff looks the same, but its a beautiful same. And to my knowledge is well within my editing limits.
So I always reserve the right to do something more provocative (and a few of my pics do go to limits) but it's really not part of any plan or on my calendar today.
Huggs Demi x
Less than an hour later, the storm is right overhead, and the rain has begun. It's a good thing I don't need to go anywhere until Monday morning, as I have a feeling the floods are on their way. Each clap of thunder can be felt as well as heard - the whole house shakes.
I'm sleeping with the blinds open tonight. I love this.
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I know I should use ground lamb, but that's so hard to come by in the US, so I use ground beef and just ignore the fact that it should be Cottage Pie instead!
1 lb Ground Beef
3-4 white-skinned potatoes
1 tbsp butter
1/4 cup of milk
Beef stock cube
1/4 cup of water
Dried onion
Garlic Power
Salt and Pepper
Wash the potatoes thoroughly and cut into one inch cubes. Boil for 15-20 minutes until softened. Meanwhile, brown the ground beef in a skillet until there is no pink showing.
Add the butter, milk and salt to taste to the potatoes, and mash until there are no solid lumps.
Drain the fat from the ground beef, and place in the bottom of a rectangular glass dish.
Place the stock cube in the water and heat for two minutes in the microwave until dissolved. Add the dried onion, garlic powder, and salt and pepper to taste. Mix and microwave for a further 30 seconds. Pour over the ground beef.
Spoon the mashed potatoes on the top, making sure the layer is even and extends all the way to the edge of the dish. Using a fork, create a woven pattern of lines in the surface, resembling a plowed field.
The leftovers
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Bake in the oven at 375 degrees C for 20-25 minutes.
Optionally, add grated cheese to the surface at this point.
Broil on HIGH for 5-10 minutes until the peaks of the potato furrows are nicely browned. Don't worry if the browning is uneven.
Serve with any green vegetable. The quantities above are enough for two adults with leftovers for a single lunch the next day.
- Location:Home
- Mood:
creative
But then again...it is my venue so maybe i shall whine...
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- davinia1963
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